Children don't come with instructions
Every child is different and every person is special.
Growing up is difficult.
The most difficult thing about growing up is how to manage our
difficult feelings. Everybody feels bad sometimes: afraid, angry,
jealous, envious, greedy, hateful, but also bored, lonely, sad,
abandoned, depressed or desperate.
These feelings hurt us emotionally. Everybody has a right to feel their feelings, even the tiniest baby, the best mother, the wisest person.
We all have to find ways to manage our difficult without hurting other people.
Babies and children have strong feelings.
Because they have little experience, they get frightened easily.
They need guidance from their parents on how to manage these difficult feelings.
Parents are the most important people for any child.
Your child needs you to help him with his feelings about the world, himself as well as with relationships with other people.
What is a parent's job?
The most important task of parenting is to help your child to build
their mind, so he can think for himself and communicate with other
Structure at home and clear boundaries and routines make a child
feel safe, and help him to develop structure in his mind.
It is a parent's job to think about what is going on inside your child's
mind and to try to understand each child's unique personality,
feelings, strengths and weaknesses.
Playing is a child's way of talking.
When you play with your child, you learn what he feels and thinks about.
That is why it is important to talk and play with your child every day, and to avoid 'lazy toys' (= machine-operated toys which your child plays with alone).
A child who feels that his parents are supporting his efforts at containing and managing his difficult feelings without stifling or denial, feels loved and happy. He will be keen to be your helper.
Children want to learn and grow up well. They don't want to be told off.
Every child really always wants to be good and do the right thing.
Children don't want you to do for him, what he can do for himself.
He wants you to tell him what to do, not what not to do - and then give him time and support to do it by himself.
He wants you to help him with give order and sequence to his experience, so he can understand consequence: FIRST ...this…, THEN...that…
It is only with a parent's thoughtful and compassionate guidance that children can develop appropriate ways of expressing their feelings without hurting other people, themselves or the environment.
Parent's Job Map (Downloadable PDF)